Change is F*ing Hard: How to tame the tiger

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The Buddha helped humanity realize the very essence of life is change. Every moment we are ever new, and dying at the same time…

The only thing that seems to interfere with this incessant motion of life is…..wait for it….another mind moment…..I already said it….yep, the mind.

There is one yoga sutra that, if the yogi could accomplish, would make the rest of the sutras null and void: yogas citta vritti nirodah Sutras I, 2. which stands for the cessation of the mental fluctuations of the mind. If you can reach this state, Patanjali said you have then accomplished the goal of yoga. The question is then, is this really possible? Can you stop thinking?

This is what Cognitive Therapy and yoga have in common, sort of. Before reaching the goal of yoga, Supreme Union, we begin by becoming mindful of our thoughts, and extremely curious when we find ourselves in a jam again and again and again….I think a pattern is forming here!! So, the practice of yoga can help unjam your jam as well as help you dig deep enough to examine yo’ dark selfie.

So what does all of this have to do with change? Well, for the mind/ego/personality, change can bring up FEAR. Yes, it may be F.alse E.vidence. A.ppearing R.eal, but shhhh do not tell that to your ego because it is likely to clamp down even harder. To examine why the mind trembles and does it’s best to keep us well…stuck, let’s look at the basic constitution of the limbic system. It is the job of the limbic system to keep us safe. A job it does so well, even to our own soul’s detriment at times.

Our emotions are little messengers that send info to this complex system. These signals are derived from basic sensory input: hearing, seeing, touching, tasting, and smelling. Pratyahara much? Another blog, another time…basically, when you are moving into uncharted territory, it’s the limbic system’s job to keep us safe.

Remember the last time you wanted to start something new, ask someone out on a date, ask for a raise or a loan or God forbid, speak in public? Maybe just reading/thinking about it can send your system into panic. When your system gets triggered it is just another learning opp to examine how your system works, how to pay attention to inner events, and figure out how to a create safety and regulation plan for yourself…basically how to FACE YOUR FEARS.

For many of us, new situations bring up so much anxiety that our limbic system wins, we agree with it, that yes, that new situation is just so scary, you and your limbic system say,   “I will stay stuck in my sticky, stinky, same, mess, ” Blah humbug.

I encourage you to respect your limbic system. It has kept you from getting mauled by a tiger in more than one incarnation. Respect, however, does not mean game over. Learn how to  become mindful of your own limbic system’s distress signals with basic practices  such as yoga poses, breathing exercises, and meditation to help you regulate, and understand your body’s limitations so you don’t stay stuck in the same conditioned response again and again.  In other words, recognize when it is Soul’s turn to trump conditioned response pattern.

May you be blessed with joy of ever-changing, never the same, not for a minute experience of life. Forever growing in appreciation of what gifts are in store for YOU, and trusting that with each passing moment, your soul is being fed the very essence of life. The nectar of life is CHANGE.  Surprise your old self in the safest, boldest way possible. OHM!

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About the Author: Angela Fe is a Substance Abuse Counselor, holistic healer & yoga instructor who lives with her two precious children and wonderful husband in Tucson, Arizona. Her approach includes mindfulness, prayer, meditation, mantram, nature, exercise, yoga, essential oils, energy and chakra healing, 12 step recovery, and nutritional balancing. She practices intuitive energy healing and coaching via Skype and over the phone, and offers in person training and workshops in all levels of Usui Reiki and Restorative Yoga and Chakra Therapy. Email her at yogabenefitsme@gmail.com. OHM!  

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Obstacles w/ Ganesha

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You may have heard the MC Yogi song about Ganesha, who heralds the elephant headed deity as “the yogis’ best friend”. Why?

The practice of yoga is ultimately about union. In order to experience this Truth with a capital ‘T’, it will require overcoming all obstacles that stand in the way of that realization. It will take (most likely) a lot of self reflection, honesty and purification of seemingly endless patterns (samskaras) that we have accrued in this life time and in yoga theory, innumerable life times, or collectively, in human consciousness.

In the meantime, we journey towards wholeness through our personal practice, insight meditation and through dedicated learning (willingness to grow and change) from various difficulties that life brings. I call this DEVOTION thru TAPAS.

Ganesha traditionally governs the physical domain, the root chakra. Since things tend to get a bit messy here on earth, our guidance and direction for both our yoga practice and for daily living can be inspired by the energy of Ganesha. His energy can be invoked by chanting the Ganesha mantra during your daily sadhana and throughout the day as you are plowing, or purging through it. “Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha” is the Ganesha mantra that can help you attract the ‘help’ you need to progress along on your true spirit’s path. It can, however, place various blockages along the path if you are simply not ready, not yet able, have some lessons still to learn, or are simply heading the wrong way (leading with the head not the heart). In this case, the practice can be directed towards seeing the path of right action and calling upon Ganesha to help us have the courage to walk in the direction of our soul’s highest expression.

This is a beautiful rendition of the Ganesha by Deva Premal.

 

Enjoy, then please learn the mantra for yourself and as you add it to your daily sadhana, see how things open up, shift and settle down for you in more creative and inspiring ways.

Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha x 108. Use a mala  to enhance your practice and keep you focused. Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha.

 

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About the Author: Angela Fe is a Substance Abuse Counselor, holistic healer & yoga instructor who lives with her two precious children and wonderful husband in Tucson, Arizona. Her approach includes mindfulness, prayer, meditation, mantram, nature, exercise, yoga, essential oils, energy and chakra healing, 12 step recovery, and nutritional balancing. She practices intuitive energy healing and coaching via Skype and over the phone, and offers in person training and workshops in all levels of Usui Reiki and Restorative Yoga and Chakra Therapy. Email her at yogabenefitsme@gmail.com. OHM!  

 

 

 

Chakra Therapy

Hello! My name is Angel Fe: addiction’s therapist, yoga instructor, energy healer, wife, & mom.

In the past 8 months I have gone on a 10 day Vipassana retreat, moved to Tucson, AZ with my husband and 2 kids, graduated with my Master’s degree and started work at a residential treatment facility as a substance abuse therapist. During this time I have taken a break from blogging.

The next 6 months and beyond will be designated to expanding my in-person and phone session work with clients, mentoring to new Reiki students (and old)  and teaching public yoga classes and workshops.

I look forward to sharing pieces of personal life experience, self-care practices, and spiritual lessons with you in this blog and beyond. Thank you for supporting and sharing my life’s work.

Namaste,

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Inner Battles Lead to Freedom Part 2

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Our Western idea of karma is elementary. From a healer’s perspective, karma is more than ‘what goes around comes around’. If you are in the process of ascension, EVERYTHING is up for processing, purging, recovering from, and moving out of the cellular structure. Over the weekend, I noticed that I had major unconscious issues with someone who is in my life but I’m not close with at all. Our kids are friends, and I have to see this person on a weekly basis. I noticed I was both attracted to him and also had an aversion, like it was always painful to make eye contact with him. This has been going on for over 3 years and finally I was fed up with this feeling of unrest, so I started digging. What I realized first was that I was married to this person in my last life. This was surprising to me but made perfect sense. I also picked up on the fact that we lived in France (I have an affinity for France, though I’ve never been there). I called upon my healing teams to bring this up more, and was surprised by how much intense energy, weird energy, sick energy, and devastating energy was between this person and myself. I thought he was just an acquaintance!! I was moved to tears several times releasing the sheer pain that was left in my system over what happened.

After several hours of purifying this, I was still unable to make a come back on my own. I called my teacher and told her what was going on with me. She  picked up that in this last life, alcohol was involved and that I was killed by this person (maybe not on purpose).

Now, I have processed lots of past life issues, but this one in particular, was incredibly hard on my system to resolve. I needed time to rest, release and rejuvenate after the complete clearing. Why? This is an old pattern for me and it is in the final stages of releasing fully.

I pray to God that all of this can completely resolve not only for me, but for all beings who are stuck in destructive relationships where alcohol or other drugs are a culprit for negativity and abuse. This person killed me when he was drunk. I saw him shaking me and felt the trauma being brought up from the depths. I feel calm now. Writing about it helps put the past behind me.

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About the Author: Angela Fe is a holistic healer, hatha/restorative yoga instructor and future Addiction’s Counselor who lives with her two precious children and wonderful husband in Flagstaff, Arizona. Her approach includes mindfulness, prayer, meditation, mantram, nature, exercise, essential oils, energy and chakra healing and nutritional balancing. She practices intuitive energy healing and coaching via Skype and over the phone, and offers in person training and workshops in all levels of Usui Reiki and Restorative Yoga and Chakra Therapy. Email her at floweroflifeharmonics@gmail.com. OHM!  

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Inner Battles Lead to Freedom Part 1

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This weekend, I became aware that karma was playing out in my life and I was responsible for cleaning it up. When our karma surfaces (and while many of us cannot remember our past lives this takes practice), one thing we can do is notice our feelings. My son had a festival at his school. Weeks before, I noticed I was avoiding the issue and kept pushing away the idea of attending. When the event got closer, an acquaintance encouraged me to go, and I knew it would be a wonderful event for the kids. But, what about me? Why all of this dread, anxiety, and avoidance. Many yogis say that one key feature of karma is attraction/aversion surfacing in relation to anything. For whatever reason, I felt so much fear about going to this event: not knowing anyone, not having another adult with me, and I knew in order to go and have it be a success for everyone, I needed to face up to whatever it was. This particular feeling stemmed from an ancestral pattern. I kept addressing these inherited feelings about social situations, and realized that my ancestors had a lot going on  in regards to putting on a face or social mask and trying to be something (that they were not). This led to confusion on my part about how to actually go to an event and enjoy myself!! After several hours of processing this old stuff on my own crying, meditating, working with my throat chakra (this is a great throat asana sequence btw) chakra http://www.yogajournal.com/slideshow/throat-chakra-tune-practice/ I began to feel that all I needed to do was focus on enjoying myself. It didn’t matter if I was popular or if anyone at the festival liked me. I needed to have fun, and  I could do that as much as I would give myself space to.

By the time 3pm rolled around, I was feeling like a completely different person, and had no anxiety about going to the festival whatsoever. I attended with both of my kids, and had so much fun! We rode the train, bounced in the bounce house, drank fresh apple cider, hula hooped while listening to drumming. Several parents came up to me and initiated  conversations with me which I enjoyed. I realized that many have social phobias about being pretty enough, witty enough, well dressed enough and that if  I continue to compare myself to others, I will only take away my ability to feel joy and enjoy myself and my life.

We got invited to another party this weekend, and I must say, I am looking forward to it!!

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About the Author: Angela Fe is a holistic healer, hatha/restorative yoga instructor and future Addiction’s Counselor who lives with her two precious children and wonderful husband in Flagstaff, Arizona. Her approach includes mindfulness, prayer, meditation, mantram, nature, exercise, essential oils, energy and chakra healing and nutritional balancing. She practices intuitive energy healing and coaching via Skype and over the phone, and offers in person training and workshops in all levels of Usui Reiki and Restorative Yoga and Chakra Therapy. Email her at floweroflifeharmonics@gmail.com. OHM!  

 

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Yin shouldn’t yang

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I know I shouldn’t ‘should’ on myself, but I came to a frightening realization, I was depolarizing my marriage and didn’t fully notice the damage I was doing. I love my husband, don’t get me wrong, but there was a period of time that I stopped trusting him. Let’s face it, some of us have had a pretty bad track record with the opposite sex, me included, starting with my father. Want to know how the little girl inside feels about her dad? She hates him for not being there, for not protecting her or teaching her how other men should treat her.

I was always afraid of my dad, and I took this fear of men into my marriage. It overpowered me and the love I had for him. As a mask to fear, I became addicted to control thus solidifying my masculine orientation to him. No wonder we were vehemenly opposed, I was constantly interfering with his masculine, thus further driving him to be feminine thus loosing respect for not being a man. Vicious. Painful. Cycle.

After becoming fully aware of this sad reality, I am embarking on the process of retiring the ‘old general’, and wish to have a new experience with the goddess within. I will put my faith in my partner, I will support him in what direction he wishes to travel in life. I will surrender to him, and let go of my incessant need to control. I will share my feelings with him. I will love myself more fully and open my heart to his masculine presence. I will let love rule.

Sting the Center of Labryinth

 

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It started with insatiable hunger. Actually, it started with a nightmare. In the dream I was in my old apartment in Austin were I lived alone. In the dream, I left my toddler there  alone all day while I went out. I was panicked the entire time because I knew she needed her diaper changed. Later, she went to the hospital because her diaper sores were so bad. The authorities were there.

This dream haunted me all week, but what did it mean?

I stepped into the labyrinth with my family. On the way in I started to recall my dream out loud. My husband asked me questions that led to further contemplation of what my soul was trying to communicate. It felt loaded. I was weary of knowing more.

We arrived in the center of the labyrinth. And I shared more about the difficulty I was experiencing in interpreting the dream. Suddenly, out of the rocks my son was sitting on, a swarm of yellow jackets came out and bit him. He started screaming and crying. As we turned to leave, one somehow managed to crawl up my tight pants and sting me very near the crotch. OUCH!! I screamed and pulled my pants down while my husband yelled at me to run. We all ran down the trail like bats out of hell, and I reached down into my pants again to pull out the still living yellow jacket.

This whole thing was weird, and while walking up the trail home I realized what the dream meant for me.

I am neglecting some part of myself that needs and deserves care and attention. This is the part of me that is helpless (like my toddler) and needs love and attention to flourish.  Why am I neglecting this part of myself and what can I do to connect and enrich my relationship with ‘me’?

I also noticed before the yellow jacket event that my  husband had something going on and was not available to me the way he usually was. Instead of nurturing and accepting him where was, I started to panic. The recent heart opening I experienced with him was bringing my own unresolved stuff. Previous heartache, fear of giving love and sex and being abandoned and then it happening again and again. I realized I was never there for myself in my previous marriages in other lives either. Always putting the man before my needs, never looking at, listening to,  or considering what my heart wanted, needed to create. My previous lives felt fruitless, desperate. Guilt had creeped into my marriage because I was trying to find balance in home and career and still felt desperate at times at my need to communicate and not being able to.

Deep wounds are being healed. I am integrating a part of myself that I lost a long time ago. Now, I’ve found her and can pick up the pieces to embrace the newness of life that is in front of me, unlived.

 

About the Author: Angela Fe is a holistic healer, hatha/restorative yoga instructor and future Addiction’s Counselor who lives with her two precious children and wonderful husband in Flagstaff, Arizona. Her approach includes mindfulness, prayer, meditation, mantram, nature, exercise, essential oils, energy and chakra healing and nutritional balancing. She practices intuitive energy healing and coaching via Skype and over the phone, and offers in person training and workshops in all levels of Usui Reiki and Restorative Yoga and Chakra Therapy. Email her at floweroflifeharmonics@gmail.com. OHM!  

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Trust the Heart

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A few days ago I got a glimpse into my shadow: the one who doesn’t trust. The tricky thing about the shadow is that it is elusive, slippery, and would rather slink back into the darkened places of psyche.

I saw the elephant in the room… The part that others can see but somehow I am blind to:my complete lack of trust and total reliance on self. Ouch. This came up as a component in the third chakra class I recently taught. While discussing attachment theory, the traits of avoidant insecure attachment are rampant in this pattern of not trusting.

Traits of an Avoidant attachment: Not trusting, caregivers are negligent and dismissing. They are often  not there in times of need either physically or emotionally. If you did not get the attachment you needed emotionally how do you repair this internal rupture? One of the adapted traits is that you stop or suppress your feelings. You ignore your own needs and as an adult you are clueless about who you are, how you feel and what you need.

What would ‘How to Heal Avoidant Attachment for Dumnies’ look like?

Learn to feel. Learn be with. Become your own best friend no matter what. This is  True Compassion.

It is true, hurt people hurt people. I know I have been one of them. As a young child, I desperately wanted my fathers love, attention and approval. What I did not understand was that he was deeply, unconsciously wounded and could not understand my needs, let alone meet them. The little child (me) could not understand this and went on to recreate this scenario over and over in my romantic collisions. Incredibly painful. So the adult me is learning how to love me first, maybe for the first time in lifetimes. I feel good inside the pain I’ve endured, like I am a molting snake. The urge to hurt my husband is so tempting because that pattern is so deep. Now I can be with that urge to lash out, to hurt, to recreate for someone else the pain I feel inside. I can be with, not act out. This is the fruits of mindfulness sadhana beginning to percolate. I share these insights with you in my upcoming heart chakra courses in September. For now, let’s do our best to remember that we are love, and seek to connect to this consciousness that is available within every single breath. Ohm!

Why Nutritional Cleansing is like Therapy

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Heard the word ‘cleanse’ and felt yourself cringe inside? What does it mean to do a nutritional cleanse and why would that be necessary?

Aside from the basic issues with our nation’s food supply that include a variety of environmental toxins and nutritional deficiency which ingesting nutritionally dense foods (shakes & superfoods) can address and resolve, another thing happens when we cleanse. We detox not only on a cellular level from chemicals, but deep-seated emotional issues are finally allowed to surface and be rinsed from the psyche as well.

Before I started cleansing (and no, I am not starving myself or doing a liquid diet), my body was attracted to heavier foods, and it could have been a maladaptive attempt to strive for a false sense of homeostasis or love. You see, humans are experts at avoiding pain but fail to see how certain amounts of discomfort lead to greater results and personal fulfillment, in this case, increased energy, lightness of being, weight loss, and clarity.

I use the term ‘dense nutrition’ to address the fact that when we give the body what it needs, the cravings for unhealthy foods stop, and the energy level increases because of the intake of better fuel with less junk to assimilate. Researchers at the University of California found this statement be true and concluded, “increased toxins in the body starve the cells of energy, spiking cravings for nutrients and uncontrolled eating” (Golumb, 2012).

I encourage people who want to make a lasting change in their world to start with nutrition. Although there may be initial resistance to doing this, keep a food journal for a few days in order to see what you are eating and when. How many times did you catch yourself eating under emotional duress, anxiety, stress, tiredness, or boredom. If you can define your level of emotional eating and commit yourself to finding other ways to take care of yourself by handling your emotions differently, that alone will change your life and consciousness completely!

It has taken me a LONG time to reach a point of emotional security/maturity within myself where I (most of the time) can see that emotional state coming from a mile away rather than being pummelled by it. I don’t judge the emotions anymore, and treat them like I would a friend. I ask that friend what’s going on and why she feels the way she does. I sit with it rather than act from it. This alone has been one of the most transformational gifts I have received during my cleansing time.

I started with a 30 day cleanse from one company and experienced severe detox symptoms because I WAS TOXIC. The cleanse restored my health and brought up the next layer of emotional material from my emotional body.

Now,  I am on a 10 day transformational cleanse with a product that utilizes mostly green drinks and supplements and incorporates 5 small meals a day. I am loving this program and riding the waves of difficulty as this high vibrational food encourages all of my ‘density’ or issues and illusions in my psyche to be dismantled.

This is more than a cleanse, and is the first step in a radical lifestyle shift for me. My husband and I are passionate about sharing our success with others, and gratefully walk others through their own personal transformation utilizing a wide array of tools and experiences. If this is a potential vechicle for your life and health, and you’d like our support, please email me to set up a free consultation! We would be happy to support you in reaching your health goals too!

About the Author: Angela Fe is a holistic healer, hatha/restorative yoga instructor and future Addiction’s Counselor who lives with her two precious children and wonderful husband in Flagstaff, Arizona. Her approach includes mindfulness, prayer, meditation, mantram, nature, exercise, essential oils, energy and chakra healing and nutritional balancing. She practices intuitive energy healing and coaching via Skype and over the phone, and offers in person training and workshops in all levels of Usui Reiki and Restorative Yoga and Chakra Therapy. Email her at floweroflifeharmonics@gmail.com. OHM!  

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Joy Therapy for the Second Chakra

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This past year I had the opportunity to teach a yoga class dedicated to exploring the second chakra. I spent a lot of time planning, practicing, and reflecting on my own issues in this department, and can tell you it has been no easy task to ‘be with’ what was going on for me.

The second chakra, svadhistana, can be thought of as our creative powerhouse. All of our infinite creative resources reside here. Humans, by nature, are powerful creators, and we are always creating whether it is conscious or not. The question then becomes: is the life you are currently creating fulfilling to you? If so, that is wonderful. You are probably a warm, friendly, highly creative and expressive person.

If life is dragging you down, or you feel like you are drudging through, here are some things you can look at:

  1. What is your relationship like with your emotions? Are you sensitive to your internal events? What happens when you start to feel something? Do you try to distract yourself with food or substances or something/anything else? The KEY component to a healthy second chakra is having a good relationship with your feelings, noticing when they arise, looking to see who/what/how/why you are feeling that way and just BE with yourself with out judging!! Emotions are energy in motion: let them move. Most of the time you can pass though them in only a few moments. Some stick around a lot longer, and need more presence and attention, and as a result will give you a bigger blessing/lesson/healing.
  2. Take time for yourself each day to do something deliciously creative. Work on that book, piece of art, anything that gets your juices flowing. Take the steps you need to in order to create something that comes from your soul. This energy is contagious and creates a lot of momentum once you get going!!
  3. Speaking of juices….how long has it been since you’ve had sex, or loving touch with another human? How does the idea of sex feel to you? Stay with those emotions. How does it feel to be in your body? Staying with your sensations can take you deeper into understanding what your true needs are. If you have experienced sexual trauma and/or miscarriages, abortion etc. consider working with a professional to address and move on.
  4. Love yourself unconditionally. The fact is no one is ever going to understand you completely except you. Notice your internal dialogue. If it is negative, what can you do to affirm something positive about yourself?

Common Second Chakra Activations/Affirmations

I create a life full of bliss

I enjoy my body

I express my full potential

The universe is full of beauty and love

I love who I am

I allow myself to experience joy and pleasure every day

I have unlimited creative energy.

Balancing the second chakra frees us from so many painful circumstances in life. This is where we hold so much potential. If your second chakra is out of whack, you may have trouble in your relationships by either being overly needy (co-dependent) or closed off/shut down. You may have an addiction, and may not feel comfortable with your creative or sexual power. Since this is such a powerful energy center, addressing these issues may bring up a lot of fear for you. The fear is temporary, your true creative essence awaits. Walk through your fear.

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About the Author: Angela Fe is a holistic healer, hatha/restorative yoga instructor and future Addiction’s Counselor who lives with her two precious children and wonderful husband in Flagstaff, Arizona. Her approach includes mindfulness, prayer, meditation, mantram, nature, exercise, essential oils, energy and chakra healing and nutritional balancing. She practices intuitive energy healing and coaching via Skype and over the phone, and offers in person training and workshops in all levels of Usui Reiki and Restorative Yoga and Chakra Therapy. Email her at floweroflifeharmonics@gmail.com. OHM!  

 

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